Saturday, November 27, 2010

[Play Pretend] - A SKKS Fanfic

[What if Yong Ha had been forced to marry that mystery girl in Ep. 17? A foray into the what-might-have-been.]

Title: Play Pretend
Genre: Angst (Alternate Timeline)
Characters: Yong Ha, OFC (Original Female Character)
Words: 1374
Summary: They are both brilliant actors, trapped in roles that neither want.
 
---Eleven glimpses into the unhappy marriage of Gu Yong Ha and Park He Ra.

Musical inspiration: California King Bed by Rihanna [download] [Youtube]
“In this California king bed, we’re ten thousand miles apart…”

o.o0o.o

There are many reasons why she married him, but love was never one of them.

o.o0o.o

Their courtship is perfunctory. Pretty declarations of intent arrive in the form of fragrant hot-house flowers and flawlessly cut gemstones, and He Ra smiles prettily and pretends to be flattered as she accepts these meaningless tokens from the Gu House servant, all picked out and packaged by his young Master’s hands.

The (too-bright) flowers she gives to her younger sisters (He Ra has always hated the colour yellow anyway), and the jewels are immediately valuated and sold to pay off some of the family’s debts – their non-existent debts, as far as polite society is concerned.

(The gifts mean nothing to Park He Ra except how much they are worth.)

o.o0o.o

“Lady He Ra,” her intended greets winsomely, when they meet in person for the first time. “It truly is a pleasure.”

“Lord Yong Ha,” she returns equally sweetly, trying not to curl her lip in disgust at his title – a counterfeit, coin-bought farce of a genealogy his filthy street-corner blood doesn’t even deserve. It chaffs at He Ra that she – the Park He Ra – needs this man, and that her once-exalted family has sunk so low as to consort with such riff-raff. Gu Yong Ha is a dandy dressed in colours as vivid as the flowers he sent her, and coupled with the dazzling smile he flashes, it is almost bright enough to give her a headache.

(…Then again, it always is rather discomfiting to find that your would-be-husband is prettier than you are.)

o.o0o.o

In their occasional pre-marital meetings (all minutely pre-arranged and carefully chaperoned, of course), Yong Ha is never anything but perfectly solicitous.  

“Allow me, Agaassi,” he says, gallantly offering his arm during a pleasant evening stroll on the night of the Harvest Moon festival. “The path is slippery here,” he explains, “and I can’t bear to see such a beautiful lady fall.”

Unmoved by the flattery (‘lady’ she is, ‘beautiful’ she is not), He Ra merely smiles and thanks him, before dutifully accepting his pro-offered arm. Though his actions are ever-gentlemanly, his touch is light and devoid of ardour, and He Ra is much too prudent a woman to fool herself into believing that he actually cares for her.

A commercial transaction, she thinks. Offer and acceptance. Supply and demand.

A mutually beneficial arrangement.

(It’s never been anything more than that.)

o.o0o.o

Their wedding is an ostentatious and overly lavish affair, with enough wine and guests and fireworks to make it to the front page of the morning news the following day.

The entire event is a little too lavish for He Ra’s liking, but it was never really about her (for her) – not really. From the fine red-violet bridal silk to the important Ming delicacies at their sumptuous wedding feast, it was only ever just an excuse for the wealth of the Gu House and the prestige of the Park House to be proudly flaunted for the whole world to see. She knows this.

But she doesn’t mind.

Appearances, after all, were important. They mattered.

(He Ra understood this better than anyone.)

o.o0o.o

Alone in the wedding chamber, she waits for her new husband to come to her. It is their wedding night, and though she knows what is expected of her, the clammy iciness in her palms betrays her trepidation and fright.

No!’ she reminds herself, gritting her teeth. ‘Don’t forget who you are. You are Park He Radaughter of a great and noble House – and you cower before no merchant’s son!’
And so, when her husband finally enters the room to lift her veil, He Ra’s eyes are serene. Slowly, silk and hair pins fall to the floor as her naked figure is revealed in the flickering candle light.
Face averted, half hidden by a curtain of long, ebony hair, He Ra allows herself to smile at the irony. Though she has never been so bare in front of any man, the walls to her heart have never been so impenetrable. 

o.o0o.o

As she stares at her husband’s peaceful, sleeping face, He Ra acknowledges that it could be much worse.

He’s not a bad man, she admits to herself grudgingly. A wry, sardonic smile teases the corners of her mouth when she recalls their previous night’s activities. And definitely not a bad lover.

But while she knows that most women would have long succumbed to her husband’s (too) pretty looks and many charms, Park He Ra is not ‘most women’. There is something that rings altogether false about this charismatic man, with his too practiced smiles and quicksilver tongue, but He Ra refuses to be charmed by it. It makes her suspicious. It makes her wary.

(You may have bought my title with three thousand mun, she thinks. But you, husband, cannot buy my heart so cheaply.)

o.o0o.o

He is not a sincere man, but then again, she is not a sincere woman.

“The servants tell me that you didn’t come home last night,” He Ra remarks in passing late one morning over tea. Her voice is light. “Did work keep you up again?”

Her husband makes a face. “Unfortunately so,” he replies, equally lightly. “There was a mix-up with one of our premium silk shipments. I was forced to spend the whole night at the warehouse, sorting through the samples. Aish, it was dreadful!”

He Ra quirks a brow. “…Oh?” 

His expression turns sly. “I would have much preferred being in bed with you, of course...” he purrs, his eyes suggestive and full of promise.

Liar, she thinks. Liar, liar, liar.

“I’ll have Mi Na make you some ginseng tea,” she says, tutting sympathetically. “You work too hard!”

Picture of the doting wife, He Ra does not draw attention to the fact that there is a stray and very telling blue-black bruise on the back of his neck – a lovebite that she never put there. 

(We all play our parts.)
o.o0o.o

Months later, her increasingly absent husband is shocked when he discovers that she can manage their household accounts on her own.

“I didn’t know you could use an abacus,” he says, his voice laced heavily with surprise.

For long moments, He Ra is silent – the slight pause in her dextrous fingers the only indication that she’d heard him. (Briefly, she wonders if she should point out to that when one grew up in a withering noble family who struggled to make ends meet while pretending to have money to spare, balancing numbers became more than a life skill – it became a matter of simple survival.)

But He Ra stays silent.

The seconds tick by and Yong Ha is forced to clear his throat several times in the uncomfortable quiet. Finally, after giving the wooden beads one last flick, He Ra lifts her eyes to meet his gaze, her expression polite but utterly cold.

“With all due respect, most honourable husband,” she replies at last, the addressal almost farcical in its courtesy. “…there is much that you do not know about me.”

(You never bothered to try.)

o.o0o.o

It is not a happy marriage, but they are very convincing pretenders.

Years later, Yong Ha will still shower He Ra with empty compliments and empty gifts. Years later, He Ra will still remain the dutiful, faithful wife, keeping the dinner warm when he is late and a cup of tea waiting by the door when he finally (if at all) gets home. Years later, they will have perfected this script so well that they won't even be certain if they’re acting anymore.

But He Ra doesn’t know this yet.

For now, for tonight, when Yong Ha stumbles home in the early hours of morning smelling of strong liquor and easy women – other women – she can only dig her fingers into the bedding and turn away, feigning sleep.

She never deluded herself that a man like him would remain faithful, and least of all to her.

Besides, I don’t care, she tells herself fiercely, I don’t care. I don’t.

Because it was never about love or fidelity or honour (silly things, useless things) in this sham of a marriage anyway – it was never about that.

She knows this.

(I sold myself to this fate.)

o.o0o.o

The next day, Park He Ra orders a han-bok shot through with gold.

o.o0o.o


Author’s Note:

I know you will all hate me for this, but I just can’t seem to stay away from the angst. Personally, I really like how this piece turned out (actually, I think it's probably my favourite piece so far)… although you’d probably disagree with me there?

However, please let me clarify --- it isn’t that I don’t want Yong Ha happy – believe me, I do! – but that I just find it really hard to believe that a pleasure-seeking, easily bored and very dangerous playboy of a man like Yong Ha will ever be happy with just one woman. (Unless, of course, it happened to be Min Jin. =P) Oh, I'm sure he'll be good and charming and not a bad husband, necessarily, to his wife, but I doubt the bonds of marriage alone will keep him away from Moran-gak. And back then, it wasn't like it was anything unusual for men to stray. Most women accepted that.

I wrote ‘Play Pretend’ predominantly as a way of exploring what arranged marriages to men like Yong Ha often was like for their unlucky wives, and it is intended to be read in parallel with/as a companion piece to ‘Stay’. The central theme running through both pieces is, of course, trust. More than anything – or so the older generation tells me – marriages will only work if both parties are 100% determined and 150% committed to make them work. In order for that to happen, communication and trust are key – both of which are (as you can see) glaringly absent in ‘Play Pretend’.

The real tragedy, I think, is that Yong Ha and He Ra would otherwise be so very compatible – if only they’d been brave enough to stop pretending. He Ra won’t let herself love Yong Ha because she wants to spare herself the heartbreak, and Yong Ha isn’t committed enough to He Ra to worm his way through all the shields she’s raised around her heart. His insincerity keeps her at a distance, her coldness chases him away. It’s sad, because I think they’re truly made for each other. 

Personally, I really like He Ra as a character – even in all her flawed, cold-hearted bitchiness. To me, she embodies that girl that you love to hate, but at the same time can’t help loving and/or sympathising with anyway. I hope you’ll be able to see the humanity and vulnerability and strength in her, despite her blue-blooded prejudice and manipulative, mercenary attitude. If not, well – I haven’t done my job properly. =P (Also, maybe you'll also notice the yellow/gold tie-in in the opening and closing scenes? Deliberate, as always, lol.)

Let me know what you think! I’m really curious as to your thoughts on this one. =)

xoxo
Tofu

9 comments:

  1. hmmm, i don't know what to think, coz i don't really think Yong ha will settle for one woman (he's too hang up on JS XD kekeke), being said that i think your story certainly is realistic (?)

    i liked it. your attention to details is jjang!

    i was thinking, Yongha would truly not let the wedding chamber pass by (i mean it's so like him)...and so unlike jae shin.

    thanks for sharing!

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  2. You know what struck me? The stark contrast between He Ra and Yoon Hee. Perhaps He Ra should take lessons from our Daemul on how to keep her lord entertained ;-)

    Anyways, I like this piece very much. It shows how different the two boys are (Jae Shin in 'Stay' and Yong Ha in 'Play Pretend').

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  3. In reading this piece, I felt sad for the both of them. I wished that they would give each other a chance and spend time to know each other better. Instead they seem to drift apart from the moment they got married.I concede it's almost impossible with the fences she builds around her heart right from the beggining. Yong Ha is someone that needs to be "entertained" and "enticed". She needed to be interesting enough to intrigue him. Instead she set up all these defenses and he was never tempted to look past them. I do like the "Stay" coupling better but this one is much more realistic scenario of an arranged marriage with a "playboy" like Yong Ha. Kudos to you and thank you for a different perspective!

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  4. Sorry Tofu, I'm going to make a very selfish comment. =X

    Thank you for allowing my version of Yong Ha's love story to come out first. This piece carries so much exquisite detail and realism that the premise of mine wouldn't have held up at all otherwise! Hahaha. =P

    I do agree wholeheartedly with you. Sad as it is, I'm afraid it's still a realism in today's society. MOST leopards do not change their spots. And while the "playboy" is usually charming and attractive, marriage hardly keeps them grounded. All the more so when the marriage is nothing but a business exchange.

    "Besides, I don’t care, she tells herself fiercely, I don’t care. I don’t."
    I think this statement in a way betrays how He Ra really feels. It changed my entire perspective of He ra. I don't think she's bitchy at all. I think she's an unfortunate woman bound by the practices of her times.

    Thanks for this piece.

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  5. Thanks for reading!


    @quoteaddict:

    No, Yong Ha would most certainly NOT pass by the wedding chamber, stranger wife or not! =P


    @Min:

    The contrast is definitely glaring, huh? Unfortunately, I think our Daemul has the advantage here, in having the opportunity of getting to know Yong Ha in his nobler role of 'friend', rather than in his more fickle role of 'lover'. Poor He Ra, unpleasant though she is, definitely doesn't have that option open to her! She can only see him as the world sees him, which is sad.


    @Anon at 4.58:

    It's like being stuck between a rock and a hard place, I guess. XD She doesn't WANT to entice him, and he NEEDS to be enticed. Neither are willing to look beneath each other's masks, and so, in the end, neither wins and both are unhappy. >_<


    @Krb:

    My dear lady, you are FAR TOO MODEST. Not only is the premise of yours way closer to the spirit of the drama, but your characterisation of Yong Ha was spot-on. Me? I'm just twisting the characters to suit my nefarious bully-pulpit purposes and making everyone depressed and unhappy XD.

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  6. You'd *think* that we'd hate you for the angst, but speaking for myself, I'd have to say I loved the painful yet realistic tone of this particular piece! You painted a very clear picture of how an arranged marriage can be so "perfect" and yet so lacking. The most moving bits of this story are the parts in parentheses, because, to me, they are the unspoken indications of He Ra's silent suffering. She really is lying to herself, isn't she?

    However, the optimist in me would like to point out how much hope is contained in this one short line: "Years later, they will have perfected this script so well that they won't even be certain if they’re acting anymore."

    Doesn't that make you wonder, if only for a moment, whether a couple that pretends to be happy can somehow, someday, eventually *be* happy? I sincerely hope so.

    And the song is lovely :) Thanks for the great find!

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  7. @takenoko:

    Haha, good to know I won't have to fear getting shot anytime soon (...well, by angry SKKS fans, at least)! =P

    Thanks for your lovely and supportive comments. And yes, He Ra is definitely not being completely honest to herself. >_< But I probably won't be either, in her position.

    "Doesn't that make you wonder, if only for a moment, whether a couple that pretends to be happy can somehow, someday, eventually *be* happy? I sincerely hope so." Me, too. At the very least - it's not a *happy* marriage, but it's not an *unhappy* marriage either. And that counts for something, right? =)

    Look forward to seeing your work posted! =P

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  8. Miss Tofu, your realistic portrayal of an arranged marriage makes me shudder at those millions of such unions still performed in parts of Asia. Thank God, though we're Burmese and very traditional too, my four aunts and six uncles all married for love, including my parents who eloped romantically. If only both He Ra and Yong Ha would put a little bit of trust in each other, and talk to each other sincerely, they could have at least a truly comfortable, if not exactly happy, marriage. If both accept the fact that this is an arranged marriage but that two human beings are involved in the transaction, thus making way for more understanding of each other's needs and faultss, they could have, maybe, built a warmer relationship. There's no mention of any children. I hope they will have one, at least, which may serve as a bridge between a man, a playboy, and a serial adulterer, and a woman, cold-hearted and calculating and so conscious of class differences.

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  9. To say the truth, I have the mixed feelings about that piece. First I could not form the exact answer, but than I realised that is probably becuase I have a different opinion on Yeorim being a playboy. I think he is not heartless in it, he eagely wants to see more, to try more and interested in all things in the world around him - as any other intelligent and good looking guy in his best time age-wise. He would not necessary be a bad husband later. So I blame her more. Him being "the GYH" - he was surely able to see/sense her looking down on him and it will be enough to put him off. She was so locked up in her thoughts about "he is lower, I would not give in, etc" that ended up being a fortress which no one interested to conquer. Really sad.
    I prefer to think that Yeorims reall marriage was not like that :P

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